Today, I want to share something personal with you. I want to share my experience and my grand epiphany.
A few weeks ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost three years. It was an extremely difficult situation, but I knew that it had to be done. There were a lot of issues in our relationship, and although we love each other deeply, I could no longer beg him to change and grow with me. I had grown tired of waking up everyday and doing the same old things without setting our "plans" into action. However, he was okay with remaining sedentary. It was not until recently that I realized that he would never become the man that he is becoming now if I didn't. In order for the both of us to benefit and become better people in the future, I had to change the present. I'm not sure if we will remain apart forever, he is still my best friend, after all. For right now though, it's for the best that we seperate.
For most of my dating "career" (I guess you can call it that), I have settled for guys that were not worth two seconds of my time. I know that most of you can relate to that! I kept telling myself as the days of my life went by that, "He'll change" or "It'll get better". I kept making excuses for them, instead of just seeing them for who they really were. Some of them weren't bad people. They tried to do the right thing, and they really cared for me. Some were of them really were bad, and didn't give a damn about me. But none of them offered what I deserved, and that's what matters.
During a conversation with my ex, I realized something and told him as soon as I did:
"I have a vision of the man that I want to marry and start a family with. Over the course of my life, I have been dealing with guys that are the complete opposite or about a fraction of that man. So one day I asked myself, 'why do I keep putting myself through that? why do I keep begging other people to be that man instead of just waiting for God to bring him to me?' And then, it happened. I realized that I just don't want to do that anymore. I'd rather be alone and wait for that man, instead of begging some guy for two to three years (who really isn't worth my time, anyway) to become him."
People think that being single is some horrible thing... I really don't think it is. I think that God is preparing you for the person that you deserve. If you treat people (and, more importantly, yourself) like crap, that's what you'll get. Live your life and dedicate it to doing the right thing and you will be served your blessings. I feel lonely at times, but I find comfort and solace in knowing that my blessings and answers will come soon enough. I'm done searching.
Even if you haven't found "the one" and it's been quite some time since you have had anyone special in your life; realize that all of these things come in due time. There are things in life that we must go through now to get the things that we want later.
My coworker shared a beautiful quote with me that I would like to share with you...
Always remember this, ladies.
Until we talk again...